Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures
by Anistan Summers
Summary: Danielle is crowned homecoming queen, Mike makes progress, and Wisteria Lane welcomes it's newest resident.


**Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures**

Bree Van De Kamp – Hodge knew that she had to put a stop to her daughter's illegal relationship with her history teacher. She just had to think of exactly how to do it. If only she could some how catch them in the act of being intimate with one another.

After a few days of brainstorming, as Bree placed the freshly cleaned and dried breakfast plates into their rightful places on the bottom of one of the shelves in a cabinet, and an idea finally hit her.

It was the day before the crowning of the homecoming queen, in which Danielle was nominated for. Bree went and gathered several small items that she needed in order to make her plan work. First, she grabbed a bottle of perfume from Danielle's room, then from other various places of the house, she collected a blank note card and matching envelope, an ink pen, and a single stemmed red rose from a fresh bouquet that sat in the center of the dining room table.

Bree took a seat at the kitchen table with the supplies that she collected, and took a deep breath in, and began. First, she spritszed the blank note card lightly with Danielle's perfume, then picked up the ink pen and began to write. But instead of writing from her perspective, she wrote from Danielle's.

As Bree was dealing with her own desperate times with desperate measures, Susan Mayer was dealing with her own desperate times.

"Cheer up, Mom," Julie said, playing the role of a supporting daughter as always, as she gathered her history and math book from the kitchen table and placed them into her back pack, "just give Mike some time. He just woke up and I'm sure he'll remember."

"Thanks," Susan's smile ended quicker than it appeared.

Julie placed her fully loaded back pack onto her shoulder, pushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her Mom good-bye for the day. Susan took another drink of her lukewarm coffee as she watched her daughter leave for school.

"Have a good day," Susan said in a monotone voice as she waved.

After filling the blank note card with false words and after packing a sacked lunch, Bree phoned Lynette to let her know that she might be a few minutes late for their coffee date with Susan and Gaby. As Bree drove to Danielle's school, she figured out the final details of her genius plan. Bree and Danielle were scheduled to go dress shopping after school, which at that time, Bree would put on a façade in order to try and trick Danielle into believing that she was actually okay with her relationship with Mr. Fellati.

Bree pulled into the school parking lot and before getting out of her car, she gave herself a quick look in the rear-view mirror in order to make sure everything was in place. She placed the red rose and fragranced note card into her hand bag and grabbed the sack lunch.

With dignity and grace, Bree walked through the front doors and made her way into the main office.

"Oh, hello Bree," Elle Greenman greeted. She was one of the counselors and she and Bree had known each other for quite sometime.

"Hello, Elle," Bree smiled, "how are you? My, it's been quite a while since we talked."

"I'm fine," Elle continued to smile as she leaned forward, "and expecting."

"Oh my goodness," Bree placed her hand over her chest in delight. "Well, congratulations!"

"Thank you." Elle said as a soft glow came over her. "Your invitation to the baby shower is already in the mail. I sent it out this morning. So what can I do for you?"

"Oh, silly me," Bree lied, "I forgot to give Danielle her lunch. I packed it especially for today, the crowning of the homecoming queen being tomorrow and all. Do you mind if I take it to her myself? I just want to surprise her. It's her favorite."

"Sure, let me just see what class that she's in," Elle rolled herself over to the computer and typed in Danielle's name.

Bree waited patiently for the results to come up. Elle grabbed a pen and a small piece of paper, and jotted down the information for Bree.

"She is actually in room 204 for algebra, but the bell is getting ready to ring, so you might want to wait for her outside room 106, which is her history class." Elle cluelessly and innocently handed the piece of paper to Bree.

:"Thank you so much," Bree expressed her gratitude, "I wish I could stay and chat, but I'm actually already running late for a previous engagement."

"Not a problem. We'll catch up at the shower,' Elle excused Bree. "Oh, and Bree?"

"Yes?" Bree said.

"Would you mind making those chicken salad finger sandwiches? I love those so much." Elle asked.

:"Absolutely," Bree opened the office door. "I'll see you soon."

Bree walked until she got halfway down the hallway to take a closer look at the piece of paper that Elle handed to her. Room 106, and so she rushed to that part of the building.

"101, 102, 103……" Bree said to herself as she hurried down the hallway until she came to room 106. The door was wide open.

"Yahoo," Bree said softly as she cautiously entered the empty classroom, "Mr. Fellati?"

As soon as she knew that the classroom was completely empty, she quickly placed the envelope and single red rose gently on Mr. Fellati's desk and then left quickly and just in time. The bell rang and soon the hallways flooded with students, allowing Bree to blend in and for her to have a clean get away. As she turned the corner, she dropped the sack lunch into a trash can, smiled a clever smile and headed to her coffee date with the girls.

Before going to Lynette's for their coffee date, Susan had one stop that she need to make as well. The night before, she had collected a number of things from her home that she thought that might help trigger Mike's memory. And so, with the box full of lost memories, Susan drove to the hospital.

"Okay Mr. Delfino," the doctor as he wrote notes on Mike's chart. "I'll check in later."

"Thanks," Mike said in his low voice. "Hey doc?"

The doctor stopped and slightly turned. "Yeah?"

"If you asked a person to stay away and not come back for a few days, and they didn't come back, I guess that doesn't mean that they're a stalker does it?" Mike asked, remembering a combination of the fact that he hadn't seen Susan since last week, and that fact that Edie had told him that Susan was a stalker.

"No, I don't think it does," The doctor honestly answered Mike's question and as if he understood why Mike was asking.

As Susan pulled into the parking lot, she questioned whether or not she was strong enough to hear Mike tell her that he still didn't remember her. She took a deep breath in, got the box and made he way into the hospital. As Susan approached Mike's room with the box, Mike dozed off into a light nap.

Susan quietly entered his room and whispered, "Mike?"

Seeing that he was fast asleep after no answer, she forced a smile on her face and quietly sat the box down on the night stand next to his bed. Tears filled her eyes as she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chest.

"I'm um….I brought some stuff to maybe….." She blinked back more salty tears, and attempted her sentence again. "I thought that this stuff might help you remember me." Susan took a moment to collect her thoughts and wipe away her tears. "I know you don't remember yet, but I do….I remember us and that we were happy and that we loved each other and I still love you and no matter how long it takes, I'm not going to give up on you. So….just please try to remember okay?"

Susan kissed him gently on the forehead and left as quietly as she came. And while Susan drove to Lynette's, Edie was busy showing the former Solis house to a newly married couple who had just moved to Fairview.

"Honey, look at this bathtub!" The wife said as she rushed into the master size bedroom that connected onto the master bedroom.

"Yeah, it's great," The husband followed his wife.

"I've always wanted a bathtub like this! She said as she ran her fingers along the edge.

"And there's plenty of room for two," Edie commented in her usual slutty tone of voice.

The husband and wife looked at each other lustfully as they shared a passionate kiss over the bathtub. They made their way back downstairs as Edie followed.

"It's a lovely neighborhood, very nice people." Edie said as she opened the front door for them. "And for the record," Edie continued as she locked the front door, "this door is the only one if it's kind in the neighborhood."

"Thank you," The wife extended her hand.

"Yes, thank you," The husband said.

"My pleasure," Edie shook both of their hands.

After Edie finished showing the "newly available to buy" house, she stopped by her own home to freshen up a bit before going to see Mike at the hospital. She pulled on her tightest pair of blue jeans and an especially tight, incredibly low cut, red tank top. After squirting some perfume onto her neck and wrists, she left for the hospital. As Edie left for the hospital, Susan pulled into Lynette's driveway, right behind Bree's car.

"I just don't understand," Susan said, inside Lynette's house as she helped herself to a cup of freshly brewed coffee. "I mean, I just don't get how he couldn't remember me, ya know?"

"Aw, Susan," Lynette said as she took a seat at the kitchen table with the rest of the girls. "I'm sure he'll remember. I mean, he's been through so much – getting hit by a car, being in a coma for six months. I'm sure memory loss is all very normal for a case like this."

:"Yeah. Millions of people wake up everyday from comas and don't remember their loved ones, or spouses." Gaby said as she dumped a teaspoon of sugar into her cup. "Wish I could say the same."

:"Have you had any luck with selling the house?" Lynette said, attempting to change the subject.

"Not yet," Gaby said, "not even an offer.

"How's Parker doing?" Bree asked Lynette as she gently placed her coffee cup down on the saucer.

"I have to take him tomorrow for a follow up." Lynette said. "But as far as baseball goes, we won't have to worry about that until next year. And hopefully he'll have forgotten all about it by then."

Bree was in the parking lot of Danielle's school at three o'clock in order to pick her up. On the way to the dress store, not a word was said between the two of them. They reached the dress store and parked the car and entered into the cool air –conditioned store.

"Well, do you see anything that you might like?" Bree asked, breaking the ice.

Danielle walked over to a wrack that displayed black, plain, long, spaghetti strapped evening gowns.

"I like this one," Danielle said.

Bree held her tongue. She didn't agree with black. It was so depressing and dull. But if her plan was going to work, she needed to be calm towards her daughter. Bree purchased the dress after Danielle tried it on. It needed some touches, for example, it was a tad bit too long, so it needed to be hemmed, which was not a problem for Bree.

"Mom?" Danielle asked. "you're not going to freak out at the crowning ceremony are you?"

"I most certainly am not going to freak out," Bree gripped the stirring wheel a little harder as she pulled into the driveway.

"Great," Danielle said as she swung open the passenger side door. "Then I guess you can come." Danielle said in her usual snotty and stern tone.

But when Danielle and the rest of the household was finally fast asleep, Bree dialed the number to the police station and explained to them that she had suspicions that her daughter was sleeping with her history teacher. She also lied and told them that she had found a note that her daughter had written to her teacher, informing him that after the crowning of the homecoming queen, she would make an appearance at the dance and after thirty minutes, he was to come and pull her aside and into his classroom where they could be alone.

And while most of Wisteria Lane was fast asleep, Gaby was far from it. Instead of resting peacefully in between her Egyptian cotton sheets, she was soaking in a hot, lavender bubble bath, sipping a glass of red wine. She gazed into her lonely and empty bedroom and she remembered how happy she and Carlos use to be. And she knew that they could never get that back. The phone rang, which interrupted Gaby's thoughts.

"Hello?" Gaby said after pushing the "talk" button on her cordless phone.

:"Gaby?" Edie said as she peeked through her blinds and across the street.

"Hi Edie," Bay said between sips of wine.

"I hope I'm not calling too late. I just happened to look out my window and I saw that your light was on." Edie waited for a response.

"No, it's not too late," Gaby responded.

"Oh, good," Edie said as she made her way over to her kitchen table, where the documents to Gaby's house lay neatly in place. "I thought you would like to know that I sold your house today."

"Really?" Gaby sat up quickly.

"Yep. I would've told you sooner but I haven't seen your car in your driveway until a few minutes ago." Edie said.

"You're kidding?" Gaby said.

"Yes. I thought you would be happy. I mean, it's sold, that is if you accept the offer, which is three hundred and fifty thousand." Edie said as she poured herself a glass of water.

"Three hundred and fifty thousand?" Gaby put her hand over hear heart. "Edie that's well over the market price."

"Well the man offered," Edie informed Gaby. "But it's late. Why don't you take your time and et back to me soon."

"Okay, that's great," Gaby gasped surprisingly.

"Okay then. Goodnight." Edie said.

"Thank you, goodnight." Gaby said, pushing the "talk" button on her phone once again.

First thing the next morning, Gaby knocked on Bree's door.

"Good morning," Bree greeted her friend at the front door with the usual bright and cheerful smile.

"Good morning," Gaby smiled back.

Bree invited her in and made Gaby some gourmet French vanilla coffee as Gaby proceeded to tell her that her house had sold.

"Gaby, that's wonderful." Bree said as she served the coffee along with some cookies.

"I was actually wondering if you had any boxes that I could borrow," Gaby kindly asked.

"Well of course," Bree said. "We have some in the garage."

"I would appreciate it. I just need to start packing now. I've got so many things." Gaby turned to her hand bag and removed a slim white envelope. "And another thing. This is for you." Gaby slid the envelope over to Bree.

"What's this?" Bree asked as she opened it to find money.

"I never paid you back for the money you let Carlos and I borrow when we were……" Gaby tried to find the right words to use "going through a rough time."

"It was no problem," Bree closed the envelope.

"Well, we appreciate it," Gaby said before taking a sip of her coffee.

"I would be more than happy to help you pack if you need me," Bree offered.

:"That would be great," Gaby said.

"Gaby, if you don't mind my asking," Bree stared to ask, "what are you going to do now?"

Gaby stopped to think and she realized that she hadn't really thought about what the next step would be.

"Where are you going to live?" Bree asked.

"Well….I don't really know actually," Gaby suddenly became worried.

"Don't you worry," Bree reached over and touched Gaby's hand. "We'll figure it out. You could even stay here for a while if you need too."

"Oh Bree, I couldn't -," Gaby started to kindly reject her friend's offer.

"Good, then it's settled" Bree ignored Gaby's unfinished response. "You'll stay here. I'll go get those boxes."

"I'll help you," Gaby said as she arose from her seat.

While Gaby and Bree were busy collecting empty boxes from Bree's garage, Lynette was busy with Parker's doctor's appointment at the hospital.

"Mom?" Parker asked while he and his Mom were waiting in the waiting room.

"Yeah?" Lynette said.

"Do you think that I could play baseball next year?" Parker innocently awaited an answer from his Mom.

"Oh, honey," Lynette sighed and put her arm around him, "I don't know. We'll see okay? That's a long way off."

"Mrs. Scavo?" A nurse said as she held the wooden door open. "The doctor will see you now."

After waiting fifteen more minutes in a private room, the doctor finally arrived. He examined Parker's sprained ankle and instructed that he still walk with his crutches until further notice. Lynette and Parker were with the doctor for at least fifteen more minutes and then they were free to go. Lynette stopped by the check out window and paid the due co-pay and then promised Parker that they would stop for ice cream on the way home. As they approached the main entrance and exit of the hospital, Lynette just so happened to pass by Mike's room. She saw Edie setting the box of Susan's things outside of Mike's room.

"Parker, honey, come with Mommy," Lynette redirected her son towards Mike's room. "Excuse me, Edie."

Edie turned to face Lynette after sitting the box on the ground. "Oh, Lynette. How are you?"

"What are you doing with Susan's things?" Lynette asked. "She brought those to try and trigger Mike's memory."

"Well, the box was taking up so much space. I just thought it would be best if I got them out of the way. Edie said.

"Uh huh," Lynette said in disbelief. She noticed that Edie was wearing one of her usual slutty outfits, so she knew that something was up. "Parker honey, stay right here okay?"

Lynette grabbed the box as she gave Edie and evil look and made her way back into Mike's room.

"Hi Mike," Lynette smiled.

"What are you doing?" Edie asked as she barged in the room right after Lynette.

"Hello," Mike greeted his guest in a sleepy manner.

"How ya doing?" Lynette asked, ignoring Edie.

"I'm doing okay, thanks." Mike blinked

"I'm Lynette Scavo. I'm one of Susan Mayer's friends" Lynette said.

"Oh yeah. Isn't your husband Tom?" Mike asked, hoping that he was correct.

"Yes, he is." Lynette smiled, still holding the box.

"What/'s that?" Mike asked.

"Oh, this….well, Susan, I know you know Susan," Lynette started to explain.

"Yeah, I'm sort of remembering her," Mike said as he pushed himself up in bed.

"That's good, that's good." Lynette said in an encouraging voice. "Well, she put this box of things together in order to try and help you remember some things. So, I'm just going to leave it here on the night stand and you just take a look through it when you feel like it okay?"

Lynette placed the box back onto the night stand where it sat before Edie had moved it.

"Ya know, I'm really, really glad that you're awake." Lynette said. "Susan was just lost without you."

"Oh please, Susan's always lost anyway," Edie said.

Lynette had finally had enough and she turned to face Edie.

"Edie, why don't you just go find someone else to bother. I'm trying to visit with my old friend here." Lynette said in a stern voice.

"I just got here," Edie said as she took a seat next to Mike.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind having some privacy," Mike said as he looked at Edie.

"Oh," Edie arose from her chair, "okay, I'll just go to the cafeteria for a while."

"Yeah, you do that. And while you're there, try not to let your breast fall into some doctor's lunch." Lynette advised.

Edie tucked her tail in between her legs and left the room.

"I'm sorry about that," Lynette turned her attention back to Mike. "Sometimes she needs a little guidance."

"I can tell," Mike said. "She's here everyday. It kind of gets annoying. Could you hand me the box?"

"Sure," Lynette said as she placed the box on the sliding table in front of Mike. "So have you had lunch yet?"

"Uh, no." Mike said as he took out the first item, which was a picture frame, containing a picture of Susan and himself.

"Well, can I get you anything? My son and I were on our way out for some ice cream. I'd be happy to bring you something back." Lynette offered, as she slowly won Mike's trust.

"Actually, I haven't had a double cheeseburger in a while." Mike said as he starred at the picture.

"You got it. Everything on it?" Lynette asked.

"Yeah," Mike cracked a smile. "Thanks."

"So, " Lynette took a seat next to Mike's bed. "Mike, I don't want to pry, but what exactly has Edie told you about Susan?"

"Well, that she was a liar, and that she cheated on me, and she's some what of a stalker." Mike answered.

"I see," Lynette's blood started to boil inside. However, she couldn't say it wasn't true right off the bat. She needed to continue to earn Mike's trust.

"I some how find what she says hard to believe," Mike said, still holding the picture.

Lynette was surprised that he would say that on his own for some reason. "Well, yes. A lot of what Edie says as does is in a way dishonest."

"Susan, just doesn't look like the type of person to be that way. I asked her not to come back until this week. I was confused and just needed some time and I was starting therapy." Mike still spoke in a soft voice. "Could you set this up on that table over there?" Mike handed the picture to Lynette.

"Yeah, sure." Lynette walked over to a table that held a bouquet of fresh flowers and so she sat the picture up next to them, where Mike could see it.

"Thanks," He said as he moved on to the next item.

Edie slammed into the room. "Lynette your son is trying to still candy from the vending machine."

"Oh man," Lynette grabbed her purse, "I'll be back with that cheeseburger soon."

"Okay, thanks," Mike said as he watched Lynette rush out of the room.

Edie noticed the picture of Mike and Susan sitting across the room on the table next to the flowers. She stared to take the box from Mike.

"We need to get you ready for lunch," She said.

Mike held onto the sides of the box. "No, Lynette is bringing it back to me. And if you don't mind, I'd like some time alone to go through this box of things. Susan took the time out to gather this stuff. The least I could do is go through it and try to remember."

Edie excused herself and angrily drove herself home.

Gaby and Bree had actually made it through half of her closet. Some things had been packed and some other things had been put in separate pile to give to the salvation army, most of which were things of Carlos's that didn't sell in the yard sale. It was soon time for the crowning of the homecoming queen at t he homecoming football game, in which Bree attended alone.

Danielle looked stunning, even in the dull black dress. The candidates for homecoming queen and king were escorted onto the football field underneath the bright lights. Mr. Felatti kept giving Danielle the sexy and eager eye more than usual, and yet she had no idea why. Bree was nervous seeing as though she knew what was about to happen within the next few hours. She wrote in the note card (pretending to be Danielle), that she would make an appearance at the dance and after thirty minutes, Mr. Felatti was to come and get her, pull her aside and take her into his classroom where they could be alone.

"And the two thousand four home coming queen is……" A loud voice spoke out over the crowd and football field. "Danielle Van De Kamp."

Bree smiled and cheered as Danielle was crowned homecoming queen and given a dozen red roses. And so, Bree's plan began to fall right into place. Danielle smiled from ear to ear as she waved to the crowd. The football game continued and Bree left in order to guide the police to where they needed to be. She notified the police of the room number and so the police showed their badges to the principle and present a warrant in which allowed them to enter into the building. They explained the situation to the principle and he was disgusted and disturbed at what was going on.

The home team won by four points, which pumped all the students up even more for the dance, which would took place in the gym. The actual lights were out, and a strobe light circulated the room as the music played. Everyone was having a good time and while Danielle was dancing with her friends, Felatti watched his watch closely. And when thirty minutes had passed, he proceeded to follow the directions in which the note card read. He gently pulled Danielle aside and escorted her to his classroom and locked the door behind them.

"What are you doing?" Danielle said as she giggled.

He started kissing her passionately and picked her up and placed her on his desk. She went along with what he was doing. He gently laid her back on the desk, as he slid his hands up her dress and started to remove her stockings as she removed his jacket.

"Congratulations," He said softly in between kissing her and as he slid the straps off of her tiny shoulders.

"Thank you," She said back and she unbuttoned his shirt.

They were both startled when the police burst through the door.

"Police, freeze!" One of the policemen shouted. "Put your hands up and step away from the minor sir."

"Okay, just take it easy," Felatti slowly got up off of the desk and put his hands in the air.

Danielle turned quickly in order to pull her dress back up over her breasts.

"You're under arrest, you have the right to remain silent," The policemen said as he hand cuffed Felatti.

Danielle followed them out front, where a police car was waiting to escort him to jail, and where a huge group of students had gathered after they realized that the police were there. Danielle watched as they took her significantly older boyfriend away. Anger began ot over take her emotions. She glanced over and noticed her mother standing behind the group of students and knew right away that Bree had something to with it.

So, Danielle and Bree were back to the old drawing board, no talking, and not even so much as a look toward one another. However, outside of the Van De Kamp – Hodge household, changes were being made. Gaby decided to sell the house immediately, and so she temporarily moved in with Bree, and Wisteria Lane welcomed it's new resident.

"Welcome to Wisteria Lane, Ian," Edie said as she dropped the keys to Gaby's old house into the palm of his hand.

"Thank you," He said in his charming English accent, which turned Edie on.

Little did she know, that his wife, Jane, was still in the hospital, and that he and Susan had been more than just friends at one time.


End file.
